Wasn’t one of my New Year’s Resolutions to keep up with my blog? Oh wait, no, it was to lose weight. So that’s two fails……
However, I have just come off of a GRAND ADVENTURE to which I will allude but not explain for another 6 months. And no I’m not pregnant. Stop asking. You make me feel like I need to lose weight. No, this GRAND ADVENTURE has reaffirmed my belief in my own awesomeness (commence eye roll sequence…..now) and also encouraged me to take the bull by the horns, as it were, and spend more time doing things I love. This includes sharing my passion for science (commence second eye roll sequence…..)
Oh it’s a trite and simple thing that science types say all the time that usually results in self-indulgent geekery. Much this same as mommybloggers. BUT, stay with me for a second while I explain why I think this is so important. Almost every decision we make has some sort of environmental or health consequence. What to eat, what to drive, where to live, who to vote for, whether or not to yell at that woman eating a sub in her car in the parking lot with the AC running on a nice day for ruining the environment. Scientists want to talk about what they do not only because we love it, and it’s fun, but because sometimes watching society do stupid things that have no evidential basis makes us want to scream. Like refusing vaccines, smoking, or driving hummers, people do things that MAKE NO GODDAMN SENSE. I don’t want to preach. I just want there to be dialog on how evidence is collected, how to evaluate evidence, and maybe have a little more respect in our society for critical thinking. Maybe just a little.
SO, I have undertaken some new ventures about which I’m VERY EXCITED. I’m doing workshops on the scientific method for environmental policy makers in Alberta. I got my first scientific writing cheque a couple months ago. I’ll be teaching Scientific Literacy and Numeracy for the Modern World at Mount Royal University in the fall, and writing more blog posts. I’ve also officially left the bench and am doing scientific project management. Honestly, the thought of not descending into that dank dungeon that was my lab makes me smile so hard I get new wrinkles, but I’m still a floor away if I get a hankering to do a PCR.
That means also that I have officially leaked out of the academic pipeline, and it makes me all kinds of happy. I really think that I have spent too long trying to fit into a mold for which I am not suited. I don’t want to work that hard, I get bored, and as brilliant as I am, I’m not that great in the lab. It’s true. I became a scientist so that I could do work that matters. It’s taken me a while, but I’m starting to realize that academic science is not the only way, and especially in today’s tough funding climate, I wouldn’t have the time to make a difference anyway. And I wouldn’t have the time to spend with my darling little girl.
Is this change of heart a reluctant realization of failure, much like a desperate lover breaking up first when the writing’s on the wall? No. A real failure would be continuing to do this when I don’t love it anymore. I had this conversation with one of my best friends the other day, who may have the opportunity to start a faculty position in a location she doesn’t love. Her family’s across the country, and she hates the weather. After years and years of drive the hardest thing is to realize that what you thought you wanted isn’t going to make you happy any more, and it takes a lot of courage to face that knowledge and make a decision. No matter which way it goes.
So everyone, a toast. To new ventures, GRAND ADVENTURES, new challenges, to courage, and to family. Slainte.
